Last Piece to a New Life - One Way

That’s it. I finally shipped off the last piece to my new life. Application for my work visa has been sent. Hopefully all goes smooth and I’ll have my visa in no time. Once I have my visa and passport back, I’ll buy my one way plane ticket to South Korea…and I’ll be gone until whenever.

I use to be on a one sided Love train. &soon I’ll be on a one way plane. Who knew life could be so wonderful. One this or one that…I’ll take it all bc I am the only one lol

Your Words are Cheap

Your
Words are cheap
Not in the way it’s held
For years before and to come
Scarred deep in my heart
But in the way you said it
To hide lie and create
A pretend World
Where only you exist

Your
Words are cheap
Not because it cost you
Nothing
But because it cost you
Everything
Me
Gone

Your
Words are cheap
Thick rigid pointy and sharp
But unable to cut
Anything
None Worth eating
Instead it turns on you
Eating you
Alive
Cuts slicing back and forth
Pendulum style
Slowly

Your
Words are cheap
One puncture wound
Molded
While another starts
Manifested, seen clearly, obvious
Paining you
And only you
You

This IS about You.

The first time your heart breaks, it doesn’t simply tear.
It shatters.
Fragments of blood-streaked glass stain your bedroom walls;
bitter tears, drenched in regret and confusion and piercing sadness
line your bottom eyelids, tinge your cheeks a painful fusion of red and regret;
your hands shake and your knees wobble as you try to step forward, try to leave before you are left, before you are consumed, before you begin to think of crawling back.

Your first thought is that you are to blame:
that you were too invested – and he not at all,
that you should have known he didn’t want anything serious,
that he wanted your body and not you,
that he never wanted you.

But he left you, and that is his loss.
He does not know how it feels to be alone on cold nights, infrequent strikes of lightning and passion illuminating his windows, his thoughts.
The grief seeps between his fingers, overflows his veins, reminds him that the consequences of a forgotten love are very rarely one-sided.

The first time your heart breaks, it doesn’t simply tear.
It shatters.
But here I am, as I always promised to be,
sweeping up each broken, glimmering piece of crystal,
bandaging the wounds he has left on your wrists,
kissing your cheeks and rubbing your back,
reminding you to breathe,
slowly, deeply, quietly.

I know it hurts.
I know that your stomach is crumbling inside of you,
a city set alight and left to burn;
and your head is swaying from left to right,
drunk on the love you have wasted,
intoxicated by the smell of his neck as he turns away.

But someday, a day far ahead of this one,
the world will become bright again.
You will wake up and smile,
and you will be happy without him.

L.G. The First Time Is Always The Hardest (via introv-erted)

…without him.

3,804 notes

When he says
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
Smile
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Do not.
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Not one.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next.
How To Pretend It Doesn’t Hurt, by Ashe Vernon  (via 1811181)

And when he contacts you to ask how you are doing, lie through all the invisible balls that clog up your throat and say you are doing well and wish this would have happened earlier. Surprisingly enough you too will believe in that lie and soon it won’t be a lie because you will start I do well without him.

(Source: latenightcornerstore)

162,593 notes

Because I believed in myself, the actions I took seemed effortless. It’s never too much when you live for you and none other. It’s a beginning to a journey I can’t predict but can claim as a life changing decision. Thou shalt love thyself first. :)

Because I believed in myself, the actions I took seemed effortless. It’s never too much when you live for you and none other. It’s a beginning to a journey I can’t predict but can claim as a life changing decision. Thou shalt love thyself first. :)

Friday, June 20, 2014

What a beautiful Friday!! 1. Just found out I got placed and will be teaching in Ulsan, S. Korea! According to Wikipedia, beautiful Ulsan sits on top of Busan and hangs below Gyeongju. Ulsan is the home to the Worlds largest automobile assembly plant operated by none other than Hyundai, Worlds largest shipyard operated by Hyundai, and Worlds second largest oil refinery owned by SK Energy. Ulsan’s flower, tree, bird, etc are all just beautiful! 2. Just found out I only have to pay $18.25 to get a duplicate of my car title so I can hand it off to my wonderful sister who bought my car! It’ll only take 7-10 days. I was told $38 for duplicate title and to expedite it all but then found out the long process is only if I have other issues to which my innocent soul does not! Yes! I have money for gas this week! I was stressed out for an hour! 3. And………..wait for it………..

Wait……..


Just witness (more like I saw from outside the bubble) a Lesbian couple get married at the courthouse and now they and family are taking pictures outside! Omg!!!


2014 is a year of great changes! :)

Ulsan, S. Korea it is!!!!!!!!!!!! :) My new to be home for (at least) 1 year! Super excited!!!!!!!!!

Ulsan, S. Korea it is!!!!!!!!!!!! :) My new to be home for (at least) 1 year! Super excited!!!!!!!!!

&I smiled. #simplicitymeltmyheart

&I smiled. #simplicitymeltmyheart

There is no greater pain than to lose a Love forever #beautiful #art #brooklyncenterhighschool #students #talented #skills #ienvy

There is no greater pain than to lose a Love forever #beautiful #art #brooklyncenterhighschool #students #talented #skills #ienvy